Ode to my Honda Civic

Oh, Honda Civic, how I love thee.

Today on my odometer, you read sixty thousand and three.

Many the miles that we have shared together,

Through tornadoes and blizzards, and all sorts of weather.

You've gotten me home safely when I was scared to tears,

So much crying, in fact, that I am judged by my peers.

But Honda, you never judge my state of being!

And you've seen them all - experienced more than the boy that I'm seeing!

You have witnessed my rage, my anxiety, and fear,

And yet you still start, so your wheel I can steer.

You let me laugh, shout, sing, and dance,

And you never judge me, like other drivers that look in my window, by chance.

When I stare at other drivers driving along beside me,

You just keep cruising along, even when Peter tells me that through my windows, they can see.

And then when I'm embarrassed, because they caught me staring,

Unlike Peter, you don't scold me, with "I told you so" eyes glaring.

There has only been one time, that I thought about trading you in,

and that was last weekend, when it was raining/snowing like sin.

It wasn't your fault, it was the blasted windshield wipers!

They wanted to be in control, those jealous vipers!!

They suddenly took on a mind of their own.

Even turned off, they still ran full blown!

I tried controlling them, tried every speed!

But those damned wipers just had to have the lead!

Off, slow, and medium they went medium speed,

but the rain didn't last, so the wipers I didn't need.

So there I was, driving along with no rain,

and my wipers were going - oh what a pain.

I was so embarrassed driving with wipers still going,

I looked like an idiot, and those wipers weren't slowing.

When I reached my destination, and turned you, dear Honda, off,

Those wipers, I SWEAR, I heard those wipers scoff.

Oh Honda Civic, with miles of sixty thousand and three,

That's like driving around the world along the equator times two point for-tee!!

I can tell that you care for me, you are no creep,

Especially when I am not buckled, and you let out a beep. 

You let me punch the radio buttons hour after hour,

Because I can't find the song that gives my voice full power.

You don't get mad when you're so salty that it looks like your white,

I'm so happy that even though I don't want to pay for a car wash, you still drive without a fight.

You sit there and wait, when my garage door fails to rise,

When I am about to faint because that door will be my demise.


I was panicking as it was my first day of my new job,
And I was going to be late and look like a slob!


Near tears there I was, trying to get that door open,
I was very near to giving up hopin'.


Brainstorming ways to get to work at eight,
Sweating so much - I couldn't be late!!

When the door finally opened, and I plopped into your seat,

You started with a purr, by the garage door you won't be beat!

When I wave my fist at the way other people drive,

You stay so calm - for this I should strive.


Some days I'm angry; I scream and I yell,
And you just keep going, driving along so well.

You put up with the booster seats of the kids I babysat,

You do not mind when on the phone I chat.

I love that digital speedometer in the shining blue light,

Except when annoying children can see I'm going one mile over and don't shut up about it, then I wish you weren't bright.

Nasty little children, spilling ice cream on the seat belt!

Leaving crayons, candy, and crumbs on your floor, how horrid that must have felt!

But don't you worry dear Honda, when I get a raise,

I will pay for a detail - I will give you my praise!!


Even though your horn sounds like it should be on MarioKart,
I've learned to accept it; I've learned to get smart.


So, Honda Civic, though your horn embarrasses me,
I have still decided to write this ode to thee.

But now I am realizing I might jinx our relationship that's so healthy,
So PLEASE, Honda Civic, don't crap out on me until I'm really, REALLY wealthy.