Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Off a cliff

One of my friends told me that he never has to guess what I'm thinking because either my face reads like a book or I blurt it out.

I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.  

I actually told him this story, and he said, "Why would you ever tell anyone that?"  And I responded that it's a funny, albeit quite embarrassing, story and that it's too good not to share.

I have a friend that I've been referring to as "my new friend B" for months now.  Like, almost a year.  I don't know why I do it either, because we talk on an almost daily basis about things that you don't talk to about with new friends.  Like telling stories about the time you were traveling and got a nosebleed in the hotel shower and it looked like an effing crime scene and you didn't know what to do because THE BLOOD WOULD NOT STOP AND BLOOD MIXING WITH WATER LOOKS LIKE A SHIT TON OF BLOOD.  And then she'll laugh with you and say, "I'm sure that was horrible, but it sounds hilarious." And then you think, it wasn't really that horrible, and I'm so glad we're friends.

I suppose that I can stop calling her my new friend now, after sharing my horror stories like that with her.

Anyways, the other day B and I went to lunch.  There is a new Mexican restaurant in town and we thought we'd give it a shot.  Note: It's delicious and cheap, and we will be returning.

B and I hadn't seen each other for a while because I was out of the office for work for about 2 weeks, so we had a lot to catch up on.  We took my car to the Mexican restaurant.  This is important because you need to understand that we were sitting low to the ground.

The parking lot for this restaurant is kind of confusing.  As we were getting closer, B and I had the following conversation:

Sara: Can I get in through the Subway parking lot?  It looks like they're connected.
B: I think so.
Sara: Ok!

As I continued driving, we were chatting and being friends and having a grand time.  I pulled into the Subway parking lot and was getting ready to cross over into the Mexican place parking lot when all of a sudden 
BA BOOM.


We went off a CLIFF and I was like OH MY GOD PETER IS GOING TO KILL ME BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO TRADE MY CAR IN NEXT WEEK AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS KEEP MY HONDA SAFE.

Dialogue in the car when we thought we were plummeting to our deaths:

Sara: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHMYYYYYYYYYYGAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

B: HOLY SHIT!

Can you tell which of us is more dramatic?

If it was just me in the car, I would tell you to take my word for it and believe me that it was a CLIFF that we drove off of, and then expect you not to believe me.  But guess what.  B was in the car too and she attests to the fact that it looked like flat ground and NOT A CLIFF.

When I parked the car, I immediately got out to check the front bumper, because by the sound of our off-roading experience, there was SURELY damage.


All I saw was a little crack.  PHEW.  B was like, "But there's a crack" and I said, "oh, that's been there for a while.... Don't tell Peter about that one either."

We had a good laugh about the little incident after there was no visible damage, but then B told me that she hoped there wasn't undercarriage damage.  So that was unsettling.

A few days after my off-roading experience, Peter and I went car shopping and got a new SUV (yahoo!).  I was kind of nervous when they took my Honda away to appraise it.

Peter: Sar, why are you so nervous? We know the car is in good condition!
Sara: Oh, well, you know how I get nervous over stupid things! *wipes sweat from brow*
Peter: You're being ridiculous.
Sara: Yep, just me overreacting about nothing again ha.ha. *gulp*

The good news is that there was nothing wrong with the undercarriage of my car.  On our way home, I told Peter about my and B's little adventure.  

I always know how to make him proud. 

Last week, I got this text from B:



I got the text when I was with some coworkers and I had to start coughing to cover up my laugh.  And then I was smiling like an idiot because I was trying not to laugh.

Finally I started laughing.  Of course I shared our adventure with my coworkers and that's when I was told that I should keep stories like these to myself.

I am standing my ground that too many people were asking the Mexican restaurant to pay for car damages after driving off a cliff to get to their delicious food.

I wonder how many times I'm going to have to drive past this fence before I don't let out a chuckle.

(But seriously, from that picture, DOESN'T IT LOOK LIKE THERE ISN'T A CLIFF?)